There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
