and next time when you feel me up, do it right
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
