also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
