arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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