A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
