I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
