how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
