Grow some girl-balls and come out already
accomplished twins. life is a go
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
