is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
