My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
