Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
