Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Randomize