Banned from zoo.
Again?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
