He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I want to fling myself into the sun
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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