Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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