Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
