Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
