So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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