Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
