now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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