The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
