Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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