garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
