I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
