you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She bit a glass in half.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize