No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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