I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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