I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize