White coat. Heels.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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