If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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