i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
