weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
