I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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