I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
