I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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