i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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