I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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