In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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