i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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