im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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