This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
