So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize