I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
