Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
