Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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