dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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