did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize