Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I think my vagina is haunted
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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