just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Is it because I queefed?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
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