Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
