in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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