Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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