You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
