Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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