I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize