Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
