I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Boobs are out for the taking
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
