BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
