Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
