I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
