dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
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