omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
