I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
Randomize
