will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I have already put on my inside pants.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
